Sweaty dogs, albino ducks and tall badgers (FAT BOBBY)

Today began with all the usual joyful routines.

The day was mostly about the power of coaching and OLEVI. During which time an interesting conversation happened between myself and L. She told me of a walk she had had by a canal, one which found her close to midnight on a bridge with a badger. A badger that would not move. A steadfast badger. Regardless of her dog, this furry mammal stood there in the dark between bush and canal. How does one get past a steadfast badger, in the dark, with a dog, next to water? We discussed the ferocious nature of badgers. I was happy she didn't end up with rabies. The funny thing that made us laugh a lot, was this comment "it's surprising how tall badgers are, I mean usually you don't see them stood up, they are often dead on the floor".

This lead us to a story about her friend who had photographed a white duck which they thought was actually an albino duck, turns out they had never seen a white duck before.

The close of our afternoon contemplations was about dogs, do they sweat? Apparently through their paws.

I took photos for my passport after work. I looked criminal. I looked like I had and eye disorder. I looked slightly wonky. It gave me only 3 options. I went for wonky, at least my eyes were open, I think that counts for something. At the checkout, J and I discussed how girls over think boys, and the girl at the checkout told us a story that her friends boyfriend told her she should juice to get rid of her spots or try a new face cream. I'm not sure why she shared this with us, she was outraged. It was strange but entertaining.

Currently I am harbouring all of our cat food in the front room. We have a pest. We call that pest FAT BOBBY. FAT BOBBY comes and eats all of our food. This cat is the fattest cat I have ever seen. Last night it ate all the food I hid on the worktop. I feel angry at FAT BOBBY. I can't afford to keep feeding this wilder beast. It eats and eats.

Exchanges

Alarm 5.30:

Yoga 5.45... Sometimes I think it's unnecessary to get out of bed straight away. I mean who does that alarm think it is anyway..? 

I made lunch for J. I practiced perfect wrap rolling. Tight and cylindrical. Packed with green joy, cous cous and tomatoes. The colour was particularly beautiful, complimentary red and green. I listened to 6music, as I do most mornings.

I had bus duty, it was raining, a lot. My hair got very wet, I liked it. I like being out in the weather. The day was mostly about paper work. the effect of this made me slightly hysterical. C and I had a game of tig in the studio, C scared me so much I laughed so hard I could not breathe. Ha! Joy! 

This evening I went over to ESP write club. It was hard to chose what to talk about in terms of my writing. I guess I couldn't help but tell the stories about the post office, the monk and getting stuck on the gate yesterday. There was another woman there that was also writing about people who make things. I really enjoyed her description of the glass blower man. Listening to other talk about their writing and their work made me feel less afraid to write and also more interested in reading different kinds of writing. during the discussion, a little mouse ran through the space. A tiny friend.

I walked through digbeth in the dark to get back to the car. Some of the spaces reminded me of walking through New York. I found a short cut through a deserted car park. There was a moment when I was in the middle of the space (probably about the size of a football field) that I considered that it could be a good place to mug someone. I ran the rest of the way and jumped the puddles, laughing! naturally I had to listen to Aretha on the way home. I couldn't think of anything better to end the day on! Writing. Woman power. Independence. And the realisation that really everything I do comes down to my interest in human beings. Observing. Writing. Listening. Talking.

                                          Digbeth wonders

Doing

A list:

Alarm

Shower

Breakfast

Tea (with A- Monday rituals)

Door

Gate (trapped)

Walk

Trees

Magpies (2)

D&E

Peggar woman 

Paper umberellas

Fridas eye brows

Observation

Tomato seeds

Muddy carpet

Lost keys

Paper work

Teaching

Marking

Walking 

Shopping

Broccoli

Chickpeas

Cooking

Washing up

6music

Yoga

Wine

Tapestries

I didn't have time to write yesterday. It was very full and fast. We went to visit A on tour in York. J and I love travelling together, we spend a lot of time laughing and getting up to no good. This is one of many things I enjoy about being her mother. She is very funny and talks a lot about different things she's interested in. When we got to York A took us the the theatre so we would know where to come back to. Visiting theatres is often exciting, backstages are mazes and they all smell like History. Don't ask me to describe this, it just is what it is. J and I wondered in and out of shops in the shambles, watched a man eat fire and escape a straight jacket whilst rapped in chains- we later went out for food with the cast.

When we went back to A's digs on the evening, we walked through the city in the dark, it's one of my favourite things to do at night (walking through new cities). I wondered about the different houses and who was in bed, what their lives were like in York. The house we stayed in had 3 floors, filled with paintings and prints and poetry. The lady who owned the house spoke through her collections. I could not help but feel like we were friends. She had left a note and a banana on the bed for J. I liked her already. In the morning she left us a tray of star shaped biscuits, tea and cups. It felt a little magical; Sitting in the bed reading poetry and seeing the bare branches of trees through the condensed window. I began to think about the lady I wanted to become. The lady of this house who had scratchy woollen blankets like my gran, and mismatched cups continued to speak to me. In her bathroom, poetry and art covered the walls, bright yellow tiles, flowers and literature everywhere. Through these things she told me she was alive. She was listening. She was open to conversation. I spent time looking and trying to absorb this strangers messages. She had a voice to be listened to and I wanted to hear it.  

In the kitchen at breakfast I noticed some small collections of pebbles... And I knew then that I had to write to her and share these thoughts I had about how the tapestry of her life, had moved me. Her world was about stories and living and not about stuff and things. she was warm like the sun.

Macrame macramooooo

walking back to the car this morning, from an early trip to the post office collection desk (macrame macramooooo day of dreams!) I found this... Tiny... Little ... Fellow of joy!!!

I wonder how he got to a shabby car pack or an industrial estate, where did he come from? Where is he going? These are questions I ask myself regularly. I also picked up a guide on what is legally allowed through the postal service (after yesterday's post office hilarity!) have not read it yet- maybe I'll read one tip a day and share it with you ? It made me laugh. I found a beautiful piece of piano music that I wish I knew how to share from the sound cloud... Will look into that one further... Tech never really was my friend. I continue to flirt with it, in hope it will applaud my advances. The weather was beautiful then grey. I think that's ok though. It is Friday after all and how can we be sad on Fridays? 

Tuesday 23rd February 2016 : colour me yellow

colour me 
             yellow

   I n h a l e
E x h a l e

      fizzing and a swirling 
Warmth, glowing radiant, bright, brighter.

A
Slow
Pa-tt-ering 
of rain 
against 
the pane soft (softer)
And oh the stirring-of-air
between my lungs. 

Monday 22nd February 2016. Tea.Paw.Lift.Write.

Today started as always. My husband made me a cup of tea before I left for work, but the cat managed to find her paw in it. The thought of her paw in my tea was slightly repulsive. Had to let the tea go... I cleared out the office space. I found some interesting poetry I had written, an old print, some drawings of rings, crab claws, seed pods, and some photocopies of flowers given to me by a beautiful lady. Naturally I spent 20 mins chasing D and E around the studio with sticks pretending to be a witch who could not see. The sticks found repetitive surfaces to run along and made for interesting music. The sun today was particularly beautiful which lit the studio in a yellow glow which filled my soul with joy.  Block 3 lift broke down again and made for an interesting opportunity to write a beat poem in protest with a student who needed to use the lift to get to the second floor. We laughed and laughed until we could not breathe. I listened to some presentations. I picked up my new phone and wrote this. I am glad that after weeks of being in techno darkness that I can write again. In one of my emails was an invitation to a write club #2 at ESP .