There is space

There is a space in my home where you can sit and watch the colours of the world change. The sky moves across the frames, like Turner paints, the colours, the movement of clouds. It is all the things I love. Sometimes I can sit for a long time, watching the light fade, watching the birds pass over, and I feel this connection with the world. It takes me on this journey, from light to dark, from blue to pink to green to deep navy. At night the moon shines down, it casts it shaddows and illuminates the tansparent shapes like a secret ice cave.

Tonight it glows with the fading embers of the day, it is calm now, it is calm.

My heart slows, it is thankful for all the colours of the day.

Grlpwr

The day was particularly grey. I worked with the girls and the second years today. There are some interesting things starting to happen. with cardboard. Never underestimate the ways in which cardboard can be used. It's like a cross between Mona Lisa smile and spice world the movie.

A student asked how to use the photocopier, which was very funny because it wasn't working very well. We decided we were never going to get back those precious minutes we lost there today.

My passport arrived.

I met an interesting girl who was very articulate and interested in the oppression of young women in today's society.

Girl power is underrated.

I have not seen fat Bobby for a few days, except to find black clumps of furrrrr upstairs...


Awkward ...

All the small things...

Mostly the day was about people;
I worked with people.
We talked about communication pie.
A little coaching happened.
I spent time with my mentee (chamomile tea)
I observed teaching

But

The most beautiful thing in my day was J. It got passed nine, and as I went to take her hot water bottle to her, she attacked me. Like a fat Bobby wild thing. She chased me through the upstairs of the house, scratching and biting my clothes. We laughed a lot. It is in these moments I am happiest. The hilarity that ensued between us is like no other I share with anyone. The love I have for this human cannot be described. I asked her to pause. And we absorbed the moment. One day when we are old, I said, we will reminisce about the evening we spent carrying Mimi our black kitten around in an IKEA bag, and role playing Fat Bobby attacks!

This
Is
The
Magic.



End.

I hear you Pablo

I have not written because life has been joyfully overflowing.

There has been;

Cement slab lifting
Soil mud muddying
Jetty building
Sailing
Laughter,
More laughter
Sunshine absorbing
Blue sky wondering
Observations
Paperwork
3 minute Mama Mia
Walking
47 flights of stairs
21,673 steps (since Saturday)
Fat Bobby attacks


And a beautiful poem from Pablo Neruda, for you, obviously.

I made these sonnets out of wood; 
I gave them the sound of that opaque pure substance, 
and that is how they should reach your ears. 
Walking in forests or on beaches, 
along hidden lakes,
 in latitudes sprinkled with ashes, 
you and I have picked up pieces of pure bark, 
pieces of wood subject to the comings and goings of water 
and the weather. 
Out of such softened relics, then, 
with hatchet and machete and pocketknife, 
I built up these lumber piles of love, 
and with fourteen boards each I built little houses, 
so that your eyes, which I adore and sing to, 
might live in them.
Now that I have declared the foundations of my love, 
I surrender this century to you: 
wooden sonnets that rise only because you gave them life.

Fat-BOBBY. The saga continues.

There is this cat.

We call her Fat Bobby. Her face is the shape of a pie. Her body like a dense tree trunk slumped in the moss. Her aim. To eat all of my cat food.

This cat is torturing my cats. It comes in, stealth Nina style, eats the food, then leaves. I have come to understand that it must know it's way around my house to get out so quickly. Heaven knows how this fat beast fits through my cat flap.

Last night after moving the food to the front room, I found her, head in the bag of food still in the kitchen. I moved it upstairs, there again she found it. 5am, ozzy growling all industrial machine-like. Scared me. I chased her down the stairs.

I may have to set a trap. A fat Bobby food trap. Or poster the streets. War is upon me and I will not back down to this greedy monster.

Tonight.

I lock the Cat flap.

Sweaty dogs, albino ducks and tall badgers (FAT BOBBY)

Today began with all the usual joyful routines.

The day was mostly about the power of coaching and OLEVI. During which time an interesting conversation happened between myself and L. She told me of a walk she had had by a canal, one which found her close to midnight on a bridge with a badger. A badger that would not move. A steadfast badger. Regardless of her dog, this furry mammal stood there in the dark between bush and canal. How does one get past a steadfast badger, in the dark, with a dog, next to water? We discussed the ferocious nature of badgers. I was happy she didn't end up with rabies. The funny thing that made us laugh a lot, was this comment "it's surprising how tall badgers are, I mean usually you don't see them stood up, they are often dead on the floor".

This lead us to a story about her friend who had photographed a white duck which they thought was actually an albino duck, turns out they had never seen a white duck before.

The close of our afternoon contemplations was about dogs, do they sweat? Apparently through their paws.

I took photos for my passport after work. I looked criminal. I looked like I had and eye disorder. I looked slightly wonky. It gave me only 3 options. I went for wonky, at least my eyes were open, I think that counts for something. At the checkout, J and I discussed how girls over think boys, and the girl at the checkout told us a story that her friends boyfriend told her she should juice to get rid of her spots or try a new face cream. I'm not sure why she shared this with us, she was outraged. It was strange but entertaining.

Currently I am harbouring all of our cat food in the front room. We have a pest. We call that pest FAT BOBBY. FAT BOBBY comes and eats all of our food. This cat is the fattest cat I have ever seen. Last night it ate all the food I hid on the worktop. I feel angry at FAT BOBBY. I can't afford to keep feeding this wilder beast. It eats and eats.

Short drawing story

A short story:

Barry the life model, was a very long thin man, with a frame of a body which folded in odd ways. He had a very a large nose. His level of requests were particularly thorough. "the mat for the floor, the last one was much too thin, a lady said she would bring me some bean bags... Are you going to keep me in that position long? I just don't want to be kept in that position for too long..." He continued for some time.  "Don't worry" said the lecturer "I never keep anyone in the same position for too long - I like to chop and change you."

Barry had a facinating mouth, which I spent the afternoon drawing. These drawings became more and more humourous. My eyes were tired from exploring his lines.

Wanderlust

        On a day
when the wind is perfect,
the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty.
Today is such a
day.

Rumi

It's not a secret that I love Rumi's poems. He speaks to my heart. Today I was reminded of the poem above. Yesterday I thought too much about lots of things. I am a vessel, which is moving from one point to another. My purpose is to swim, cutting through water, flowing as one form. I sometimes get quite lost. I spent the whole day sailing today. When I am there, on the water, I feel a sense of wholeness, and peace moving through me. The boat slicing through the water, moving with the power of the wind: there is something very real and very grounded in that. I am reminded of the very visceral nature of being human. I felt like some of my over thought questions were answered.

On the way home J and I laughed at a man who was so incredibly excited to reach the top of a staircase before his friend. He was actually punching the air. It was a thing of pure joy! 

I am still listening to Fela Kuti and dreaming of travel.

that's my jam (and crackers) man!

The end of the day brings Yoga, red wine, Fela Kuti and some time with Pablo Neruda. I mean kapow to all those lovely things. I spent the day catching up with washing and other jobs. J and I went over to MAC and wondered around the new exhibition of local artists from art schools. There was a really great video with Afro hair and a sculpture that was also made from hair which looked like a mushroom cloud. I fell in love with some altered chairs which have been modified using only themselves, they became creature-esque, go and see it. We had some food at the Mac and spent the time watching people talking around us and the change in light on the trees through the rectangular Windows. It was very magical. The birds were flying in great sky circles. We wished we'd had our sketchbooks!

 J and I played hide and seek in home sense which was absolutely hilarious. She kept calling me, stalker-like and telling me co-ordinates to her location. Mostly I enjoyed talking to her about her week at school and what had been going on in her world. we had to do some shopping on the way home. It was very busy. We didn't enjoy this, but made our best efforts to find joy by singing spice girls and throwing our best shapes across the car park non the less. Today was quite ordinary, but full of lovely conversations. My favourite quote of the day (whilst singing in the car) "that's my jam (and crackers) man". I guess it was one of those 'you had to be there moments'. We were there and it was very very good. #talkingisneveroverrated

Two funny things turned into three...

Some things that made me laugh today...

1. A student had to excuse themselves in the middle of a lino cutting session "to go and fart outside" and stuck their back end outside the double doors to do so. The look on her face was hilarious.

2. My daughter taught me to change my pants without actually exposing myself- she hashtagged this #lifehacks! I love my daughter, she is everything good I know about life.

3. Remembering my favourite joke during staff development on healthy eating and sharing it with C: I love humus so much I could be a humusexual.

Exchanges

Alarm 5.30:

Yoga 5.45... Sometimes I think it's unnecessary to get out of bed straight away. I mean who does that alarm think it is anyway..? 

I made lunch for J. I practiced perfect wrap rolling. Tight and cylindrical. Packed with green joy, cous cous and tomatoes. The colour was particularly beautiful, complimentary red and green. I listened to 6music, as I do most mornings.

I had bus duty, it was raining, a lot. My hair got very wet, I liked it. I like being out in the weather. The day was mostly about paper work. the effect of this made me slightly hysterical. C and I had a game of tig in the studio, C scared me so much I laughed so hard I could not breathe. Ha! Joy! 

This evening I went over to ESP write club. It was hard to chose what to talk about in terms of my writing. I guess I couldn't help but tell the stories about the post office, the monk and getting stuck on the gate yesterday. There was another woman there that was also writing about people who make things. I really enjoyed her description of the glass blower man. Listening to other talk about their writing and their work made me feel less afraid to write and also more interested in reading different kinds of writing. during the discussion, a little mouse ran through the space. A tiny friend.

I walked through digbeth in the dark to get back to the car. Some of the spaces reminded me of walking through New York. I found a short cut through a deserted car park. There was a moment when I was in the middle of the space (probably about the size of a football field) that I considered that it could be a good place to mug someone. I ran the rest of the way and jumped the puddles, laughing! naturally I had to listen to Aretha on the way home. I couldn't think of anything better to end the day on! Writing. Woman power. Independence. And the realisation that really everything I do comes down to my interest in human beings. Observing. Writing. Listening. Talking.

                                          Digbeth wonders